Udo's Techblog

In the interest of fairness, I really try to hate everyone equally. In an ideal world I'd start with myself, 'cause I'm pretty dense. In reality though, my self-loathing is more than offset by my continued awesomeness.

I really try to distribute my withering judgment equally among the populace, and there's plenty to go around. But some people really make a point of being far out there as far as stupidity goes.

"I mean, those Macs look really cool..." says the brunette girl at the opposite table to her friend as she obnoxiously organizes her giant paper shopping bags so as to display the logos of their ridiculous brands more prominently. After all, what's the point of shopping Versace if you can't show it off to a huge audience of potential admirers at Starbuck's?

Her friend sips her latte and expresses the appropriate amount of admiration: "Yeah, I heard about them. They're the silver ones, right?"

"Yes, with the white apple on top. I bought one, but they, like, don't run any programs. So you have to go out and buy Windows separately before you can use them."

"I didn't know they ran Windows. I thought they had some other weird thing."

"They do when they ship, but I dunno what's the deal with this program. Everybody erases it, 'cause you can't really use it for anything. It just has, like, strange buttons and colors and everything. I dunno why they put that on there."

So let me get that straight: there are people with no capability to even recognize other operating systems than Windows, but they buy these fucking overpriced paperweights anyway because they look pretty? What's the point? Shouldn't that MacBook better go to, say, some poor African country where it would be appreciated? Or more importantly, why doesn't anybody buy me one?

Oh well. After that, they descended even deeper into the realm of utter stupidity by giving each other English lessons (!) in the course of which they took turns explaining a list of words to the other, using pretentious American accents. And without exception, they got the meaning of every single one totally wrong.

God I hate stupid, loud, pretentious people bathing in the halo of their own awesomeness.